My Ìbàdàn Weekend.

Hi Guys!
‘Been a looooong minute. Sorry I was away for so long. I had a roller-coaster of a weekend. Lemme give you the “dubs” real quick. First, BM showed up at my doorstep unexpectedly on Thursday evening. Boy, was I glad!!! I however could not fully express my gladness cos we had an audience. Anyway, we went out later at night and had fun bonding with him again. I thought I’d banished him from my mind forever, but I realized I thought wrong……..my heart can be such a traitor at times -thwarting my best-laid plans right at the point of execution. So it was that we spent Thursday and Friday evenings together catching up on old times. But he just had to go and spoil it with a suggestion that I “arrange” my friend for his married friend. I took that very personal. Enough of BM joo!

Well, my Mom called outta the blues on Thursday evening to order Bona –my sister- and I home for the weekend. I was crest-fallen as I already had maaad plans for the weekend in Lagos. I got into the dead-zone called Ibadan on Friday night around 9.00p.m. when ceteris paribus, I’d have been applying my last coat of Maybelline mascara in preparation for a wicked night out. I’m glad I went though, ‘been a month since I last went home, so I’d missed my brothers sore. Needless to say, my mom was ecstatic when she saw us. She could barely wait till morning to offload all the pent-up gist she had for us. Might I add here that we are 2 girls and 2 boys, and my sister and I live in Lagos so she usually has to save the gist till we arrive as my brothers are either too busy with their new-found love, PS3 or playing football. This time was no different, we spent most of Saturday catching up on what was new in one another’s lives. The Three Oketunji Girls. My mom right now is very excited about my uncle’s wedding coming up next month as the whole house is a bee-hive of activities…..ásó-ebí wahala, caterers, venue and all, as she prepares for her role as Chief Hostess. She can barely wait to show off the 10-feet, yes 10 whole feet tall Christmas tree that she just bought. I got infected with the preparations-virus too as I am myself, a party-bum. I can hardly wait till I’m grown-up, like totally independent and married so I can start to host my own parties….mehhnn!!! I was very happy that I had another party to add to my rapidly filling-up December calendar. If only the makeover jobs would come in so fast too…..lol!!!

Speaking of makeovers, you’ll recall that I said something about the 10-year old girl’s party? Well, it didn’t hold anymore…….but guess what? I still got paid, thanks to darling Auntie Abbie!!!! She’s the newest person in my life and I think she is just the sweetest person ever. She’s in her late forties, but you’d never know cos she is so in-tune with us young people and she understands us. Trust me. I’m sure there’ll be more about her on this space soon. Thank you, Aunty Abbie!!! Xoxo
Got back to town, Lagos that is, on Sunday evening and preparations are already in top gear for Alhaja’s Chieftaincy Conferment Ceremony on Sunday……another Owambe!!!
I think that’s about it. Ok, I joined Twitter today, merely out of curiosity. I hope I can keep up, though. I also had Monsura –my braider over today to make my hair. Peeps say the hair’s nice, but I’m not sure. I’ll put up pictures of it tomorrow. For now, it’s “Bon Nuit”, beautiful people.

An Evening's Blues.

I wrote this poem on a day that my mind was greatly disturbed. I couldn't place a finger on what it was that bothered me.....but i was ill at ease. So, i left for a quiet place to brood and sort out my feelings. I realized after a short while that it was the eve of my First Boyfriend's birthday (i think what made me sad was the fact that i still haven't found true love many years later). A 30-minute period of perfect Silence, Solitude and Stillness. This was the result....i found it very therapeutic.

I'm so, so upset now
'Wish i could up and leave
But i know not how
All i do is sigh and heave

And so, to my room i go
Upon my bed i lie still
What to do, i do not know
For my heart's a turmoil still

D peace i need, i do not find
A hum becomes of d banter
I peek through d window blind
My mind drifts unfettered

A flicker here
A flicker there
One, then two, then three
Five..six..till it's a jamboree

My face awash wit their light
My soul at ease once again
As the fireflies light d night
Gloom tries 2 hold me in vain

As i lay on the sandy shore
D waves caress my feet
The birds break into song
And Tosin is at peace.

-Tosin Oketunji
4th September, 2009.

My Mother

Today, i wanna share with you, a piece i wrote for my Mom last Mother's Day.

A Tribute To WURAOLA (My Mother)
MaMia,
To say you're the single, most important person in my life, is merely stating the obvious. You are the one stabilizing factor in my life. You have seen me through many a trying period. And though i've let you down time and again, you've ALWAYS been there to help me pick the pieces and move on.

You have shown me this year just how much you love me and how much i mean to you. You never actually say the words "I LOVE YOU" but your actions scream it loud and clear.

I'm listening to a song now by "So Beautiful" by ASA and it evokes emotional memories of the many times, over the years, that you denied yourself many luxuries to make sure your children had the very best. Daddy's blessed to have you as his Mrs. and we, your children, to have you as our Mommy.

I might not say this very often, but i'm proud and blessed to be your daughter. I long for the day that you will be able to say the same words about me.
Happy Mothers' Day, Mommy.
Love you plenty.


Awww, i'm getting all teary-eyed just reading that again. Goodnight People!

Much Ado About Bode George.

Much as I hate to be to be partisan or in any way political on this blog, I just cannot resist the urge to comment on the Bode George trial and subsequent conviction. I read that he bagged a 28-year jail term on a 64-count charge, which will run concurrently such that he only gets to spend two and a half years behind bars. I personally think that the 2-year jail term is too small a penalty for crimes of that magnitude and I believe that it will not serve as deterrent to intending offenders. Nigerians are rejoicing now, that justice has taken its course and rule of law has been upheld, as a “Sacred Cow” and erstwhile chieftain of the country’s ruling party has been brought to book. I’d very much like to believe so, but I’ve been around for a while……lol, and I have seen the way things play out on the political chessboard of Nigeria. I would like to believe that he -B.G.- fell out of favour with some of the “powers that be” and so was dealt with. For goodness’ sake, these crimes he was convicted of were perpetrated many years ago. How come the EFCC waited until August 2009 to arraign him? Don’t get me wrong guys, I’m happy that justice has been served…….what I have a problem with is the selective way in which it is served. I mean, we still have some ex-governors that looted the state treasury walking the streets freely, flaunting their ill-gotten wealth at every opportunity……sometimes even being called upon to chair or be a guest speaker at State and Public functions, WTF!!! We cannot even be so sure that justice has been served yet, as his attorney said that they will contest the judgment at a Court of Appeal. Let’s wait for the outcome of that, while the former vice-chairman of the PDP cools his heels in ………………..(I didn’t say anything, oh!) I saw clips of the trial last night and saw an elderly man faint as people jostled to revive him. I wonder what his relationship to the accused was.

On a lighter note, I wonder what his pretty new wife- Roli George (nee Adeniyi) will be thinking now.I'm sure she didn't bargain for this. I hear that women of the FAIR-SKINNED variety are wont to be FAIR-WEATHER friends, associates and sometimes, spouses......no pun intended (apologies to my fair-skinned friends). Will it be a case of ******“Igí dá, eiyé fò”?****** Meaning “when the tree is felled the bird takes to flight”....do the math! I kinda think that was an unfair thing to say, but I could not resist the temptation.
Enough of B.G. and Roli…….let me gist you about my day. About 2 months back, I contacted a PR firm with a view to engaging their services in the branding of BELLEZZA MAKEOVERS. I had a 1-hour session, over several cups of coffee and steaming hot spring rolls in a cozy, posh office somewhere in Victoria Island, with their representative asking me all the necessary questions, my preferences, the image I’d like to project and all. I answered them all and they promised to revert to me in due course. Well, get back to me they did…….only that I was not prepared for what I got.
The letter was hand-delivered to my home last week by a sharply dressed despatch rider, his jacket, helmet and motorcycle emblazoned with the logo of the said firm. I took the letter and signed for it. The envelope was a work of art (I still have it nicely tucked away in the bottom drawer of my dresser). Well, I unfolded the letter and went straight to the bottom of the page where I knew my bill would be. I saw a 6-figure sum……N__0,000: 00. I promptly called them to ask for a downward review (èló ni jálè?), upon which I was told that they were professionals and their charges were not open for negotiation. I decided there and then, to do my “Branding” by myself. So, I got in touch with my friend in Chicago (please don’t ask why I had to go that far) who worked tirelessly to create a design for me. I asked around and found out that Shomolu was the printing headquarters of Lagos and so, to Apata Street, Shomolu I went this morning. I walked into a one of the very few decent looking shops and after about an hour of going back and forth, I was able to convey to the semi-literate guy that attended to me, what I wanted. I will however not know if he got my message, till tomorrow when I go for pick-up. Needless to say, I got stuck in the mad traffic of Ikorodu/ Mobolaji Bank-Anthony road. My tummy churned, as the worms attacked the walls of my stomach……..God, I was starving!
Then, my phone rang. It was my friend calling to ask if I was down for Alausa. Boy, was I glad? Lunch at Alausa could only mean one thing: Àmàlà and Gbègìrì with Ewédú and Ògúnfe. Of course, I said yes and time just seemed to speed by. He picked me up about 30 minutes later and we headed out. I enjoyed my meal thoroughly as licked my fingers after each morsel and battled with my goat-meat after as sweat beads trickled down my face and neck. Of course I “crashed” immediately I got home….. just woke up actually. Meanwhile, I think we have been yanked off the NEPA grid as our power supply has been cut off for 3 days now. If you know them at NEPA, tell them to restore our power supply, or else…..OR ELSE…..!!!!!!!
Just before I leave…..I heard something over the news about another deregulation. How many times shall we deregulate? Arms folded, sha!

NAIRA RAIN

So, do you like my slideshow? Please post your comments and let me know. I was going through my pictures, so I thought I’d put some of them together for y’all to see. Some of them are actually about 4 years old or something. There’s this one with my lil’ cousin on her 1st birthday……..all decked up in orange aso-óké. It took us the whole of 30 minutes to get her to strike that pose.

And oh, I forgot to tell you. I do voice-overs…yeah, like the whole radio-jingle, documentary, narration stuff. The first time I heard my voice in playback was amazing……I almost didn’t recognize it as my voice, it was WOW!! The studio manager said and I quote “You have a velvety-smooth voice”. And that was it. I didn’t know before then, that there was any such thing as a “microphonic” voice before that day. I wanna up my game now……..you know, go professional and all. So, I’ve enrolled in a “finishing school” to further hone my skills so I can enter the big league, Amen.

Eh-hen! I said I was gonna gist you about the wedding I attended yesterday. Anyone remember Smokey Robinson’s hit track of the early 70’s- Dollar rain? I bet most of you guys were not even born then…lol! Well, this account is the Nigerian version, hence my titling it Naira Rain…………..
Towards the end of the party, when the couple was leaving, a convoy of 4 cars- 2 Land-cruiser jeeps and 2 Peugeot saloon cars (sirens wailing)- pulled up just outside the Balmoral hall, venue of the reception. Immediately, the party which was already winding up, became lively once again as a flurry of activities began. The live band changed the tune to a faster, more danceable tune as the party once again gathered momentum and went back into full swing. The occupant of the car came down eventually and it was a Permanent Secretary with one of the Federal Ministries. By this time, the couple had found their way back to the dance-floor (I’m sure you can guess why) as the Perm. Sec. followed closely with his retinue of bodyguards and aides in tow. That was when the Naira Rain started. This guy started “spraying” the couple, bundle after bundle of crisp N500 notes. Yours truly, he didn’t stop until he had exhausted the 6th bundle……. N300,000!!!! Civil Servant!!!! It is at times like this that I wonder where Nigeria is headed as a nation. For a public SERVANT to make such a show in the full glare of everyone? Our money? Our taxes? Why will the Niger Delta youth not take up arms when they see a government official spend money like that while they languish in penury? But then, maybe I wouldn’t be so angry if I was the “SPRAYEE”, sha. Who knows if I wouldn’t do same if I were an holder of public office? Hmm……mn.

I think I’m gonna go to bed now. See you guys soon. Have a splendid week ahead.

Random Assortment of My Works.

Twists

Hallos!
I’m sure you’re expecting to hear how the makeover went. Well, it didn’t happen.
I got a call last night from the Aunty that hooked me up with the job.
Grrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnngggggggggg………….Phone ringing

Me: Hello Auntie *****
Auntie *****: Hi Tosin. How are you?
Me: I’m fine, thank you Auntie *****. I haven’t forgotten about the makeover, oh! I’ll meet you in Ikoyi, then we can go to Lekki together.
Auntie *****: That’s why I’m calling actually. Last minute change of plans.
(by then, I was thinking the venue or the modalities of our meeting had changed)
Me: So, where’s the party holding now?
Auntie *****: It’s not holding…………….
(all I could see in my mind’s eye were the $$$$$, Naira actually…..5-figure sum that I had spent already, mentally, slipping through my fingers)
Auntie *****: Tosin…Tosinn….Tosinnn! You there?
Me: Yes, Auntie *****
Auntie *****: Did you hear me? I said the party’s not holding till Thursday.
(oh boi! See relief. I let out a huge sigh). I’m so sorry. Do you think you can make out the time?
Me: Let me get back to you in an hour. I’ll need to check with……(voice trailing off)(I must “form” nowwww. Abi? But not too much, sha. Chei! I already had designs on that money, oh. I’d planned to pick a particular Prada bag I’d been eyeing for weeks at Mobos. It’s all good, sha!)
Out of curiousity, I asked: Why was the party postponed, Auntie *****?
Auntie *****: Oh! About 6 of the girls coming in from London can’t get off from school till Wednesday…..you know, so they’ll spend a few days and leave on Sunday.
Me: Oh, I see. (I don’t see anything, oh. 10-11 year old girls flying in from London, just to attend a party? I DO NOT SEE AT ALL)
Auntie *****: I’m so sorry, Tosin. I’ll call to confirm on Monday.
Me: Alright, Auntie *****, byeeeeeeeee!
And, so my Saturday changed. Ok, before that. I’d actually been approached earlier to do a bridal makeover today but I refused cos I knew the girls’ party held more prospects for me(only I understand) than the bridal. If I’d known there would be a last minute cancellation, wouldn’t I just have eaten my cake and had it? Aaarrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I said to myself: “Well, o ba ni, ko baje”- meaning “all hope is not lost”, count your losses, Tosin and get a move on. Oh, i forgot to tell you…..i went out last night TGIF- and it was maaaaaaaaad fun. I remembered then that my folks were attending a wedding, but i was still at my friend’s……….. groggy from all of the fun of last night. Luckily, I got a cab on time…………straight to Ikeja. I got home just in time, went for the party and I was glad I did. Gist from the party, but that’ll have to wait……………I’m soooooo sleepyyyyyyyyyy.